The Future Of The World (Humor)

An old manuscript was found in the attic of the legend Migel Nostrildamous, a seer of the 1500s who could smell the future. It is written in his own handwriting and it foretells events in the not-so-distant future. And it doesn’t smell good.

Migel writes of the following events:

The year is 2035. The entire border between the U.S. and Mexico has been paved with asphalt so people don’t slip as they run cross. All illegal aliens in the U.S. have been granted amnesty and a subscription to Telemundo. The official language of the U.S. is Spanish. Mexico’s population is 35.

Obamacare requires insurance companies to cover children up until the age of 64, as long as they live with their parents and their mother still does their laundry. A “pre-existing condition” is now defined as a condition that existed before you existed. What this means is that all out-of-pocket expenses paid by your parents and grandparents for their own medical problems, you now get reimbursed for. And this all works out well. Every family has three cars, six servants, a horse stable, and insurance company executives live in homeless shelters.

Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-un, supreme leader of North Korea, embark on a joint venture. They’ll be manufacturing detachable mops that can be used as a Kim Jong-un wig that doesn’t fly off when playing basketball.

The International Court of Justice moves from the Hague to the Bronx. In their first session they condemn New York City cops for occupying Brooklyn.

ISIS runs the U.N.’s Human Rights Council and declares that killing a terrorist is a crime against humanity.

The U.S. military has been reduced to a small fraction of what it used to be back in 2014. It loses many men in combat in a war with Denmark. The U.S. is outgunned and outnumbered. Denmark’s army consists of 500 well-armed soldiers, it’s navy has three rowboats with mounted shotguns and it’s air force consists of five cropdusters that can drop 78 cherry bombs a minute. The U.S. doesn’t stand a chance.

Israel finally agrees to give up all the land demanded by Hamas. Hamas builds more tunnels with the help of Iran’s biggest contractor, “Jihad Construction, Roofing and Waterproofing,” and completes the project under budget by taking advantage of the construction company’s semi-annual “Buy cement for one tunnel, get cement for another tunnel free” sale.

Hamas is invited to the U.S. to help New York City complete its never-ending subway projects. Hamas responds, “Can not do. Not have enough cement for tunnel from New York to Israel.”

In light of its land gain, Hamas now demands that Israel roll back its borders to the pre-Egyptian-bondage lines. Israel responds that it’s willing to comply as soon as it figures out how to split the Red Sea again.

Evolutionists are dealt a big blow when a book that disproves the theory of evolution, “Fossils Make A Monkey Out Of Evolution,” reaches one billion in sales on Amazon. In response, evolutionists claim they can prove that if you incubate a bunch of worms in a solution of amino acids and carbon compounds they will eventually evolve into the Long Island Railroad. And they bolster their claim by recounting an experiment that showed that a worm’s cell magnified eight billion times has a remarkable resemblance to a train window.

Migel Nostrildamous writes that his nose was getting a little stuffed and he was having a hard time smelling any further future events. But he promises to make more predictions as soon as his sinus clears up.

Indian Classical Music vs Western Classical Music – The Classical Story

Indian Classical Music is all about ragas. A raga portrays a mood, a sentiment, expressed through a microtonal scale. There are a number of ragas, each with its own mood and its own corresponding microtonal scale that is based on the natural harmonic series – the natural law of vibrations.
Today, Indian Classical music is influenced by a foreign tonal system that is not based on the natural harmonic series. This is the Western tonal system that has had a big influence on Indian Classical music. Many Indian Classical musicians, nowadays, make use of Western instruments such as guitar and drums.
Most Western audiences find Indian Classical music to be quite exotic. Two major reasons are the differences between the two traditions in tuning and scales.
The subtle differences
Let’s straightaway delve into the differences between these two vast genres of music to get a better idea:
• Indian Classical Music (ICM) is primarily homophonic, which means that it focuses on creating melodies using a sequence of notes, whereas Western Classical Music (WCM) is to an extent polyphonic, which means multiple notes are played/sung together, where the counterpoint, harmony, and texture created using multiple voices is very important.

• WCM is composed, whereas ICM is improvised. WCM compositions are formally written using Staff Notation, and performers usually follow that. But in the case of ICM, the Teacher-Student tradition of learning leads to each performance being an improvisation.

• ICM uses “Taal”, where Taal is a cycle of beats that is centered on “Sam” that repeats itself. In the case of WCM, there aren’t any complex beat cycles.

• WCM is modal and so has a chord for each note of the scale. On the contrary, ICM is tonal and, hence, is based on a single scale (a single drone, chord, and key).
Fusion all the way
But then again fusion is a growing concept in India. So, their differences and some similarities make fusion music even more interesting and challenging. If we take a deeper look, we will actually find a number of similarities. Today, “guitar” has acquired prime position and popularity in Indian Classical Music with Indian Ragas being played on guitar.
There are two types of Guitars that is used for fusion in India: Spanish guitar and Hawaiian guitar.A wide variety and mix of instruments ranging from Guitar, Drums, and Saxophone to Sitar, Tabla, and Flute are used for fusion music/concerts.
My band, known as Kaivalyaa, is also a fusion band, where we fuse various western genres with Indian Classical music. The Western and Indian instruments we use include Guitar, Drums, Keyboards, Mouth Organ, Bass Guitar, Harmonium, Flute, Sarod, Tabla, and a number of percussion instruments. Some of the big names in the Indian fusion scenario are Indian Ocean, Avial, Advaita, Raghu Dixit Project, Mother Jane, Tabla Beat Science, and Bandish Fusion. With varied influences, experiments, scales, tones, and sounds, fusion is the next big thing. So, if you want to know more about the Indian Classical scales/Ragas, you are at the right place.

5 Different Ways To Showcase Your Ice Balls.

Colored Balls

Release your inner creative self by including a small amount of color to your spheres of ice. You may achieve this by placing a few drops of food coloring to the ice mold after the water filled mold has been in the freezer for around an hour. You can add in a bit more food coloring if you want more vivid colors. Alternatively, if you’re adding the ice balls to fruit juice , you can pour juice in the molds in place of water and freeze. This way you have colored AND flavored ice orbs! Simply add an ice juice round into a glass, pour the fruit juice over and serve. It’s less likely your juice would taste watered-down this way!

Flower Balls

Looking to add a touch of Zen into your drink? Create flower ice spheres! You can simply make these by putting the flower of your choice into the ice ball mold, snap the 2 mold pieces together and pour distilled or filtered water in the mold up until the fill line and freeze. When you release the ball from the mold you’ll get a dazzling ice ball with the flower frozen inside.

To achieve more visual clarity of the imbedded flower you could try putting in filtered water and freeze from top to bottom. You could do this by putting the filled ice ball molds in to a cooler. Pour water all around the molds and put the entire cooler in your freezer. Of course, you’ll need a cooler compact enough to fit in your freezer. Once frozen, take out the cooler, chip away the ice around the sides of the molds to release them and slowly unmold. Done! Clearer ice balls make it possible for the flower to show through so much more.

Fruit And Herb Balls

This is achieved in the same way as creating flower balls however this time around, utilizing fruit and/or herbs! Be imaginative and use your favorite colorful fruit that is in season for example,: strawberries, raspberries, lemon or lime wedges, pieces of kiwi, or other types of vibrant fruits or berries. Incorporating your favorite herb to your fruit balls not only gives increased flavor but looks stunning too!

Glam Balls

Who knew ice could be so glamorous? Particularly when it’s very simple to do? Just freeze your ice round as normal, put it in a wide rim glass, pour your preferred beverage or cocktail over it and add in some edible silver or gold flakes over the ice. It would be even better if you could find edible gold or silver leaves to use instead.

Multi Purpose Balls

Who says ice balls are created for drinks alone? There are a great many ways you can use your dazzling ice rounds. For example, you could use it for helping keep things cool. Put some frozen orbs into a cooler for your picnic and you’ll be sure everything in there will keep cool all day. Another terrific use for them is for winter decorations. Prepare some frozen colored balls, you are able to use faucet water this time around, then afterwards line them up along your driveway on the snow. For special events, you can even pile some clear or colored ice balls on a beautiful plate or bowl. They ought to keep their shape until the celebration ends particularly during the winter season! You can also mix them up with crushed ice and, with the right lighting, you’ll get a stunning arrangement of ice on your buffet table . Why not fill an ice bucket with ice balls and put your bottle of wine or champagne in it to stay cooled for much longer?

The sky’s the limit when your creative juices get going so have a good time with your friends or family. Red berry juice balls for Christmas cocktails or orange ice balls for your Halloween punch bowl for example. Enjoy!

Handy Tips for Creating Animated GIFs from Videos

Animated GIFs are a great way to attract attention and add movement to your online space. GIFs not only make us laugh, some also express useful information in seamless motion. Memorializing your favorite scenes from movies or good parts of videos in GIF format is now a riot and it usually makes some extra impression than pure lengthy videos files.

So, have you ever wondered if you could easily make a funny animated GIF from your favorite movies or something you saw on YouTube and share online so that when your friends see it they are going to laugh and give more likes and comments. Well, now you can. You don’t have to own any expensive photo software or even be a graphic designer! All you need is creativity, a video source and best of all a powerful GIF maker tool that is affordable, relatively painless, and only takes you a few short minutes.

When you are going to make a GIF, there are a few things to keep in mind. A great GIF should be short, seamless, and salient since many spaces you’re going to post your GIF on usually have size limit and no one is willing to wait a long time for loading. You should aim for a GIF file that’s no bigger than a few megabytes or so, to be a good Internet citizen. So the size of your GIF should be as small as possible. And try to add some useful content to make your GIF more dynamic and compelling. After all, what makes your GIF worth the extra load time over a JPG or PNG?

To meet the above points, you should wait no minute to try a quick, yet versatile video to GIF maker at your best. Some may argue that the free online tool is enough. However, you must have neglected its security and restrictions of file size, frame rate, duration, watermark and something else. Let’s forget Photoshop if you want to save money and keep things simple, while VideoGIF can be your well-balanced solution which has been being the practical choice of millions Mac users in the world because of its reliability, ease of use, and superior performance.

With VideoGIF, you are free to add a video from your local video files, Webcam and YouTube URLs. There’s a dragging option that allows you to trim any good part of the video, then set it as your start and end duration. Controls within the app empower you to crop the video or resize it for optimal output. Text and stickers are offered as a must to touch up your GIFs if you are looking to add some humor or commentary to the video clip. You also have options to adjust colors, and apply filters to fine-tune GIF at ease. How about adjust the frame delay, sequence, and quality for your GIF? It’s no doubt that VideoGIF can be your ultimately handy helper.

If you want to show your friends/family directly what an amazing animated GIF you’ve made via Tumblr, E-Mail or iMessage, then VideoGIF meets all above and responds well to the call of duty. So all the GIF enthusiasts, what are you waiting for? Just use VideoGIF to capture your favorite moments and breathe new life into them.

Quick Tips for Making a GIF to Animate Your Daily Photos

Animated GIFs are nowadays extremely popular and in high demand. They are of great value for advertising, marketing, page views, or even artistic and creative expressions. GIFs can bridge the gap between photos and videos. A photo is easy, but it has a lot of limitations. A video is streaming, but it can be a tedious and lengthy project. The GIF though, it’s pretty simple and fairly versatile. It’s also a nice way to share your feelings with friends and family instead of sending them still photos. You can make a GIF out of a collection of plain photos to intuitively convey your thoughts and also bring some extra impression.

Find the best way to make a GIF

Let’s say you have a folder full of photos that you want to turn into an animated GIF, but now you are faced with the question of where to get started. Then you should read this, here in this article you will get your wanted answer.

As you’d expect, there are countless ways to convert plain photos to animated GIFs, and more appear daily. For example, many “free” online GIF maker sites allow you to upload your daily photos and then automatically generate a GIF for you. But my experience is that all the “free” sites I’ve tried have such-and-such limits of file size, frame rate, duration, watermark or something else. Sometimes you have to sign up or buy their premium service to overcome these limits.

There also a number of offline GIF maker tools are now available in the market, but what’s the quickest and easiest one to start looping your digital photos? Let’s forget Photoshop, which is super complex for beginners. If you are looking for a simple and practical animated GIF maker, PicGIF, developed by PearlMountain can be your perfect choice. It can meet all your needs whether you’re a hard-core techie or a beginner who prefers to keep things simple.

Create animated GIFs from photos using PicGIF

This easy-to-use GIF generator tool will help you make out GIFs from photos for every mood and moment. It supports a wide range of image format like JPEG, TIFF, BMP, PNG, TGA, RAW, PIC, etc. and any image size. Go to make a GIF follow the below brief steps.

>Download PicGIF from http://macgifmaker.com/picgif.html and install it on your Mac.
>Add a series of photos from your local folder or take some snapshots using your camera for use.
>Set your GIF size, frame delay and playing sequence. It couldn’t be easier to resize your GIF size by choosing from the preset sizes or customizing the exact size you want. You can easily control the GIF speed by setting its frame delay. Go to Sequence option to change the looping direction of Normal and Reverse.
>Add text/sticker to your GIF. PicGIF provides a very handy function for adding and editing some text captions/stickers to multiple layers.
>Save and share your GIF. This whole thing should have taken you no more than a few minutes. Share with and impress your friends.

How I Accidentally Became a Recording Engineer

Well, not exactly. I did intentionally learn how to record. But it wasn’t as a career choice. It was only out of necessity. It’s really expensive to record in a professional studio. Where I live, it costs at least $250 per song to record with the top local engineer. That is an enormous bill at the end of a 10-song project. And bands around here somehow come up with that money. However, I cannot. And neither can any of my band mates. So, in order to get anything recorded, someone has to undertake the massive chore of audio recording. And somehow that person has ended up being me. And I’m not completely happy about it. I mean, I love the end result of a recording project. It’s such a difficult process that it’s hard not to be proud of the final product. But getting there is very painful. Not physically, but mentally. It requires a great deal of studying and experimenting to get adequate results out of a recording studio. I spent many months stressing and obsessing over sound treatment and setup.

There are so many variables to deal with: sound treatment, microphone placement, studio monitor placement, etc. And that’s just the preparation to start tracking. And then once tracking is complete, mixing and mastering are the next two laborious chores. And these two tasks entail so much attention that I consider each to be an additional task to accompany the recording process. On my first project I did all three: recording, mixing, and mastering. And after that project, I immediately understood why this is not the usual method. It’s a good idea to let a fresh set of ears take over at the mastering stage, allowing for a new perspective to the project. I am now more than happy to turn the project over to someone else after the mixing stage.

Not too long after that first project was completed, I started getting asked by other bands to do recording for them. Definitely not my intention, but I figured, “why not?” I had already spent so much time studying the recording process and setting up my own studio, that it almost seemed silly not to. So I did. And at first I was very passionate about it. People were enjoying my work and I was very proud of the sounds I was obtaining in my DIY recording studio. But as time went on, I began neglecting my own music. Recording had become nothing more than a job. I think of it in the same way that I do my experience playing in a cover band. Playing other people’s music or recording other people’s music… the end result of neglect is the same. So now, I’m back in college to obtain an accounting degree. I’ve already tried twice to make music my career. Both times my passion was depleted. But it’s back now. I can concentrate on playing music and writing songs. And with my arsenal of recording tools, I can document my own music with relative ease. These days I take pride in sharing my DIY and cost effective recording techniques with those who are just getting into the field of home recording. So in the end, my temporary time as a paid recording engineer really ended up being a positive thing. And the knowledge is a great backup to have as a last resort, just in case I go completely broke again.

A Guide To Feng Shui Colors Along with Their Meaning

Feng Shui is the process of bringing harmony to every aspect of your life. One particular technique to achieve good Feng Shui is via the use of color. There are five Feng Shui elements to which colors are associated. These elements are: Fire, Earth, Metal, Water and Wood. Colors are associated to each element, and, in the correct combination, they contribute to the Feng Shui energy map of the space encircling you.

You need to boost the Fire element in the space around you if you wish to provoke passion and high energy. The colors that will likely promote your efforts are red, orange, purple, pink and strong yellow. In Feng Shui, red represents luxury and richness; orange conveys playful, lively, pulsating energy; purple is linked to spiritual realms; pink soothes the soul and strong yellow, like orange, makes your space uplifting and cheerful. Note, however, that several of these colors have to be used infrequently. The overuse of red is thought to create restlessness, bursts of anger and over-stimulation, while purple, being linked to the spiritual realm, should be used strategically.

On the other hand, if you wish to build stability, inner nourishment and calm in your life, you have to boost the Earth element around you. The colors connected with the Earth element include light yellow, beige or skin color, and earthy, sandy colors.

From the Metal element flows clarity and preciseness, efficiency, sharpness and precision. The colors white and gray will likely build a setting favorable to these traits. Gray generates an energy that is crisp, reflective and sharp. In the same manner, white is crisp, clear, fresh and clean: it marks both beginnings and clearly-defined endings. The Feng Shui Metal element colors create harmony to the Fire Element colors, thereby minimizing the overwhelming effect of the Fire Element colors.

If you seek calm, ease, purity and freshness, you have to concentrate on the Water element. Feng Water element colors include blue and black. The various shades of blue are used to provoke different forms of energy. Light blue, for example, favors harmonious expansion and gentle growth, while darker blue, deep calm and serenity. By contrast, black teems with energy and sophistication, and it imparts power and protection, grounding and stability. Overpowering, black should be used infrequently and strategically.

Lastly, the Wood element creates vibrant health, vitality and growth. By prioritizing green and brown, you will likely encourage the transfer of the energy to your own self and to those about you. Brown has a nourishing energy. On the other hand, way too much brown can bring about inertia and lack of ambition to go ahead in life. Brown needs to be balanced with other Feng Shui element colors, such as the Fire or the Water element colors. Green is the color of renewal, fresh energy and new beginnings. It soothes the spirits and favors healing. Green matches itself well with the other Feng Shui element colors, such as the Earth and the Metal element colors.

10 Things to Consider for a Fireworks Display

Fireworks are amazing. They are exciting. They bring joy and cheer; they put smiles on people’s faces. But before this can happen, there are a number of things to consider. First of all, you need to consider the venue. Where are you planning on hosting the party? Will the venue allow fireworks on their premises? Some places do not like fireworks. If it is your own home, that is great. The next thing to think about is area. Do you have enough space to have a display conducted there? With fireworks, there are various effects, and their burst diameters vary greatly. The heights they reach before the effect explodes into all its glory, is a factor we need to consider and allow for. Safety is of the utmost importance with specific minimum distances from the audience and homes and buildings to the firing point. Weather is another consideration. If the wind is blowing, the minimum clearance distance may have to be extended.

Therefore I have 10 things that you may want to consider before a fireworks display can be conducted.

1. Can a fireworks display be conducted at the premises?

2. Do you think there is enough safety distance available? The minimum is 40m from the firing point to the crowd or any other point in a circle around that central firing point.

3. What time would you like the fireworks display?

4. Allow plenty of time (i.e. 2 weeks minimum) to organise the display.

5. Contact a fireworks contractor to discuss your requirements.

6. Ensure the contractor is licensed and has insurance, and all permits have been submitted.

7. Let your neighbours know in advance so they can attend to animals.

8. Does the contractor have previous records to outline their experience?

9. Has security been organised to monitor the event?

10. Are any obstructions going to be in the area which would hinder setting up? For example, carnival rides, tents, marquees, trees, vehicles. These types of obstructions not only are a hazard but will prevent the display from being conducted.

This is just a small part of the requirements that are a “Need to Know” for a display to be conducted. But with all these items and more free and clear and of adequate safety, we hope you have the most amazing display. Aerial Pyro-Tech are fireworks Brisbane specialists whom will bring on the cheers and the thrills. It is always a pleasure to delight all audiences and leave them buzzing for more!

How to make a LEGO animation

If you have not already dusted off you LEGO minifigures now is the time to start digging around in the boxes in your closet, loft or under your bed. Who knows you might find some valuable collectible minifigs hiding in there. Some more rare minifigs from the 70’s are worth hundreds of dollars. You can look up ebay to check out the more valuable ones.

 

  • Get a good Webcam

Once you have your legos collected together you will want to get your hands on a good quality web camera. A lot of webcams that you come across are very cheap and nasty. You will need to purchase a branded webcam from Microsoft or Logitech in order to ensure you get a good quality image. Expect to pay $35 plus. If you are not restrained by cost then I would suggest a Logitech c920 ( approximately $95 ) but boy is it worth the extra bucks. The image quality is superb. And the better the image quality the better the animation will appear to your viewers.

  • Get 3 Lamps

The last thing you want to do when animating is use “daylight”. Animating under sunlight is a disaster. Why? Well sunlight changes second by second because of shading from clouds or simply over the course of the day in terms of position. Thus every time you take a snapshot for your stop motion lego animation the lighting will have changed. The light levels will not be apparent to you but when you play the animation back you will see what appears like “light flicker”. This is very distracting to the viewer. So in order to avoid it you need to block out daylight to a large extent and use artificial light. Three standard desk lamps will do the job nicely. Place them strategically around your set and perhaps use some paper to dampen down or reflect the harsher lamps to soften the look and avoid light glare.

  • Choose the Best Stop Motion Software carefully

If you are using a PC then I would recommend iKITMovie. If you are using a MAC then I would recommend iStopMotion. If you have no restriction on budget and want to use a DSLR ( digital single lens reflex ) camera then I would recommend DragonFrame. The reason I mention choosing the best stop motion software is that often new animators can make a mistake in choosing. All the software I mentioned has a trial version for you to try out before you purchase. So take the time to download a free trial and see if it matches your needs.

  • Add sound FX , Music and Voiceover

In case you have not noticed the days of silent animated movies is gone. You should engage all the senses of the viewer. Adding sound effects is vital to entertain. Adding music to set the mood is also important. Adding a voice to your characters can bring your characters to life. You will need a microphone for your voice and dialog. You can record the voiceover directly in to some stop motion animation software whereas others encourage you to use a separate application and then import the wave or mp3 files once they are complete. iKIT allows you to record directly or import them and it also has over two thousand sound effects included in the application. Alternatively you can download free sound effects from various websites. Just type “free sound effects” in to google and you will find them easily.

 

Know Your Guitar Well With Guitar History Specifics

The guitar is arguably one of the best instruments to play. This is because besides the guitar being quite intriguing and fun to play, acquiring guitar playing skills is easier than acquiring skills of any other instrument thereof. Most guitarists are very fond of knowing guitar history facts for purposes of understanding the evolution of this instrument quite well. Their history dates back to more than 5,000 years ago when the first guitar was made. There are no concrete facts about the onset of guitars but their introduction is estimated to have taken place around 1400 BC. The first instrument with strings was invented by the Hittites as a four string instrument. This guitar set the basis of the development of the present day one.

In 1200 A.D, there was the introduction of the Moorish instrument that came with a wide fingerboard, numerous sound holes and also had a rounded back. The best thing about it is that it was quite easy to play and also produced quite incredible sounds. Later it was replaced by the Latin guitar; an instrument that closely resembles the present days’ one. This guitar was an improvement of the Moorish as it had a narrower neck and only one sound hole. The Latin guitar is widely known for its sharp sounds.

In the late 1400’s, there was the introduction of a new model guitar that was known as the Vihuela. This guitar was evolved from the two guitar versions of the 1400 A.D. Some of the notable aspects about this guitar are that it had 11 frets and a neck that was longer than that of the two guitars. 200 years later, in 1600’s the Lute guitar was introduced but unlike in previous situations this guitar did not replace the Vihuela. This is mainly because the Lute was quite hard to play as it had very many strings. It was however modified to a four course guitar that was then easier to play.

The best thing about guitar history facts is that these facts have taken a very long time to evolve and give rise to the modern day instrument. There is no other musical instrument that has been taken through many modifications like the guitar. A few decades ago since the 1930’s there was the introduction of electric guitars. These instruments are the finest ones in the music industry. This is because of the reason that their development has been greatly boosted by the onset of technology. As of now, they come with very edgy attributes and features.

Most guitarists are very fond of playing electric guitars as they are not only very easy to play but also produce superior quality sounds. These guitars are available in all features, dimensions and in the best quality. Presently, there is a wide collection of these guitars produced by different electrical companies all across the globe. The Gibson and Fender guitars have created an incredible legendary history as being the best electric guitars in the market.